Twinkles

How may people do you know that have a twinkle in there eyes? It is a thing that most happy have or people who know something that you don't have.
I lost mine at about the this time last year. I got severely depressed due to a mountain of different things. Mainly it was due to a lack of someone to be with. I am 18 and single and have never been in a relationship. How sad is that. The main reason for this is the fact that I am a spineless bastard and I have no courage to talk to people who I don’t know. Oh and I am a geek and cannot hide it. I found my spark again eventually but could never figure out why.
I know lots of people and each one has there own quirks and lovable features. I am a caring person and notice the people around me more that they think I do. I pick up on those things that are possible to detect with only a slight change in body language. Anger, resent, respect and the worst of all humouring. I hate people talking down to me and I also hate the liars. If you have something to say it and don’t hide (I am a hypocrite I know so sue me) its not like I would ever take offence. The only way to take notice of criticism is to know that it is given with a bitter taste and also resent. NO one ever comments on how I look, how I dress or even how I act. They accept it. I could fling shit at walls and people would just stare open mouthed. These changes are mainly noticeable in college mates but not as easy to place.
The main reason for this post is the one thing I cannot figure out. A sparkle in the top corner of the eye accompanied by a smile. The person who does it is a dear friend and I think I know them very well but this sparkle shifts everything. I have no idea what it means (or do I) and I want to know. I feel like I am being mislead for a reason and cannot figure out why?
I am slightly eschewed to the world now and this sparkle is driving me nuts (more so). I cannot help thinking about it. It’s always there. I think I can now be classed as paranoid w00t.