The crazy touched mind of me
I have been described as touched. This is due to the fact of my crazy tendencies.
I don’t like to be touched and have become slightly paranoid.
I feel that if someone touches me that I want to recoil unless I give him or her permission. I hate to be sat to close to someone. It makes me very uncomfortable. I cannot describe the horrid feeling and the cold sweat. This worries me slightly as I don’t know how to overcome this. Do I need to get myself a girlfriend that I can get to understand me or is it just a phase or a chemical imbalance in me. I find it really hard to imagine myself with a girlfriend, as I have never thought about it before. Is it just me or am I sacred that no one will ever like me that closely.
This is also where the mild paranoia does not help. I have this image of myself that I want to project but I am constantly bombarded with mirrors that tell me that I need to find a decent hairstyle (which I do) and a way of expressing my self. They also tell me that I have spots that I cannot do anything and constantly annoying stubble. I also have this image of myself in my head and this does not correspond with my image in the mirror. I have not ever tried to figure out why this is.
The last reason why I am touched I my mind. It is tatters. I cannot concentrate on anything for to long without being distracted. I am having troubling linking topics in conversation because I think to far ahead of the conversation and then speak. As no one can follow my reasoning they all think that I am weird and laugh. A good example of this is a couple of days ago I wandered off (topic and mentally only of course with just random responses while I thought) in the middle of conversation about something I cannot remember and then I just blurted out “would giraffes be good at deep throat”. This got everyone laughing but I could not remember how I came to that conclusion. This is also the reason why I cannot find a girlfriend that I could relate to and see myself going out with.
I don’t like to be touched and have become slightly paranoid.
I feel that if someone touches me that I want to recoil unless I give him or her permission. I hate to be sat to close to someone. It makes me very uncomfortable. I cannot describe the horrid feeling and the cold sweat. This worries me slightly as I don’t know how to overcome this. Do I need to get myself a girlfriend that I can get to understand me or is it just a phase or a chemical imbalance in me. I find it really hard to imagine myself with a girlfriend, as I have never thought about it before. Is it just me or am I sacred that no one will ever like me that closely.
This is also where the mild paranoia does not help. I have this image of myself that I want to project but I am constantly bombarded with mirrors that tell me that I need to find a decent hairstyle (which I do) and a way of expressing my self. They also tell me that I have spots that I cannot do anything and constantly annoying stubble. I also have this image of myself in my head and this does not correspond with my image in the mirror. I have not ever tried to figure out why this is.
The last reason why I am touched I my mind. It is tatters. I cannot concentrate on anything for to long without being distracted. I am having troubling linking topics in conversation because I think to far ahead of the conversation and then speak. As no one can follow my reasoning they all think that I am weird and laugh. A good example of this is a couple of days ago I wandered off (topic and mentally only of course with just random responses while I thought) in the middle of conversation about something I cannot remember and then I just blurted out “would giraffes be good at deep throat”. This got everyone laughing but I could not remember how I came to that conclusion. This is also the reason why I cannot find a girlfriend that I could relate to and see myself going out with.
What is hapening to me
posted by Adam McConnell at 6/11/2005
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