Friends and my self pity

I have lost the ability to laugh about life.
I care about everything and feel as I have been drained of all enjoyment. All my college mates are very friendly and I love them dearly and when I am away from college I miss them.
This is the opposite for my gaming mates. I have found myself drifting apart from them and with the announce that Dave is leaving it feels like the need of an era. I will have to find a way of staying in touch with my dear gaming friends but I have found this rift is to do with the gaming life itself.
I want to live in the real world and find it harder and harder to come to terms with the fact that I am a medium gamer and all my mates are either better or the same no matter what. I have found that I don’t care at all.
I need a change. I need to help myself.
I want to hang out with my friends from college more and more but they don’t seem to want to. What can I do?
I am so depressed
Is it a mask that I wear or that I have created that clouds my eyes. I have not seen something important or is it just me trying to get around the fact that I am stressed and don’t want to lose the routine of college.
AAAAHHHHHHHH