Frank Hughes
This is a sad post for me but I write it with no emotion. I have lost the ability to expresss myself physically and now view everything with a strange but logical approach. This lack of emotion has been here for a long time and will be explained later in the post.
The reason why this post is sad because yesterday (9/04/06) at 13:05:30 my great great Uncle passed away from heart failure, lung failure and a blood clot in the brain. He died quietly with my dad and his life long friend Sid (known each other since they were 4) after hours of agony and pain from the clot putting pressure on his brain. He died calmly though and recognised and smiled at Sid for the first time since being admitted to the hospital after the nasty fall.
My whole family on my mams side is torn to shreads. Sid is now alone for the first time in his life and my Gran has lost her closest nephew (I think thats the realation but I am not to sure).
As you can tell I am not attched to him in the greatest way and have only ever met him about 6 times. I wish I knew him better and this is were the sadness comes into it. He was one of the few relatives I knew I had and now he is gone, I will never get chance to know him at all and he will dissapear into the eather and be lost as a childhood memory. All I knew him from was the postcards we got from him and Sid when they went on holiday. He was always enjoying a nice cool pint in the shade.
Thing that annoys me about all this is the fact that the funeral in next week on wednesday but I have and external exam for improving my grades. This means I cannot go unless I have got the dates wrong (which I am sure I have not) and will miss the whole thing. I feel realy bad about this and feel ashamed that I cannot go.
The reason why I said that I write this post with no emotion is because I have not cried properly in about 5 years and have lost the ability too. It wells up and I intensly cry for about 10 minutes and then nothing. In that 10 minutes I have had to have been alone and it feels as if I have forced the emotion. I have never cried as much as over the death over my cat but I spent the aniversiry of putting her to death with a headache from lack of emotional outlet. I have no outlet for crying and I feel even worse about things. I know I did not know Frank that well but I realy do feel very sad that he has died but cannot express it.
May god help and guide you Frank wherever and whoever you are.
;.(
The reason why this post is sad because yesterday (9/04/06) at 13:05:30 my great great Uncle passed away from heart failure, lung failure and a blood clot in the brain. He died quietly with my dad and his life long friend Sid (known each other since they were 4) after hours of agony and pain from the clot putting pressure on his brain. He died calmly though and recognised and smiled at Sid for the first time since being admitted to the hospital after the nasty fall.
My whole family on my mams side is torn to shreads. Sid is now alone for the first time in his life and my Gran has lost her closest nephew (I think thats the realation but I am not to sure).
As you can tell I am not attched to him in the greatest way and have only ever met him about 6 times. I wish I knew him better and this is were the sadness comes into it. He was one of the few relatives I knew I had and now he is gone, I will never get chance to know him at all and he will dissapear into the eather and be lost as a childhood memory. All I knew him from was the postcards we got from him and Sid when they went on holiday. He was always enjoying a nice cool pint in the shade.
Thing that annoys me about all this is the fact that the funeral in next week on wednesday but I have and external exam for improving my grades. This means I cannot go unless I have got the dates wrong (which I am sure I have not) and will miss the whole thing. I feel realy bad about this and feel ashamed that I cannot go.
The reason why I said that I write this post with no emotion is because I have not cried properly in about 5 years and have lost the ability too. It wells up and I intensly cry for about 10 minutes and then nothing. In that 10 minutes I have had to have been alone and it feels as if I have forced the emotion. I have never cried as much as over the death over my cat but I spent the aniversiry of putting her to death with a headache from lack of emotional outlet. I have no outlet for crying and I feel even worse about things. I know I did not know Frank that well but I realy do feel very sad that he has died but cannot express it.
May god help and guide you Frank wherever and whoever you are.
;.(
posted by Adam McConnell at 5/10/2006
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